5 Reasons Why You Need To Travel Alone 

Processed with VSCO with m5 presetTaken in Lisbon, Portugal -blog post here

Ok so you’ve fallen in love with travelling, but have you tried doing it solo? Now has never been a better time and here are 5 reasons why…

 

1. You learn the need for others and therefore appreciate others. 

When I was travelling alone in South America (not the safest of continents) there were times where I needed someone to look after my bags or someone to borrow a jumper from. I didn’t have my best friend with me so I had to rely on complete strangers or people that I’d just met that night in the hostel.

To my surprise there was this kind of travelling culture where everyone is willing to help one another. Having worked in finance in London it can be quite a dog eat dog culture and I found it really refreshing travelling alone and in some parts it had restored my faith in humanity. We aren’t created and put on this earth to live for our own selfish lives. We’re programmed to want and need relationships and travelling really helps reinforce this.

 

2. You end up feeling comfortable in your own skin. 

Before my first solo backpacking trip I had never even been on holiday on my own – so this was a big step. I honestly can’t explain how comfortable I am within myself since coming back. You shed off a layer of self consciousness and insecurity. It’s that realisation of knowing not everyone is going to have the same opinion as you on things but who cares? Embrace your individuality!!

 

3. You improve your organisation and language skills. 

As I knew I had no one to rely on if I got lost or needed to ask for directions in a different language I had to organise everything myself. From budgeting to transport and accommodation there are so many things to think about and when you’re travelling alone it can be easy to forget. This is also a great point to add to your cv and mention in job interviews!

 


4. You meet way more different kinds of people you’d ever imagine to. 

So many more people approached me when I was travelling alone than if I was with another friend or even a boyfriend. Not saying that you shouldn’t travel with your boyfriend/best friend but generally speaking I found couples tended to keep themselves to themselves more and I don’t blame them but if you want to get to know more people from different backgrounds, cultures and paths of lives then make the first move. It will also increase your confidence by a mile too.

I remember one night meeting an American old lady at a yoga class in Peru and we ended up having dinner and chatting all evening and the next having drinks at rooftop bar with a group of Australians!

 

5. Your memories aren’t tainted and they’re yours to treasure forever. 

If you were to go travelling with a boyfriend and break up after, your memories would just be of him and not the good times you spend exploring new countries and living new experiences. You want the best stories you can past on to your children and grandchildren…

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What are you driven by in life?

For some it may be money, fear, approval, guilt or resentment and anger.

I admit I was once driven by approval. Of course having Asian parents they always expected the best and nothing less. When I received my University bachelors degree results I remember going into the living room to tell my parents and seeing them just turn their heads from watching TV and saying well done and continuing to watch TV. It was just expected from them.

I was always trying to achieve more to impress them. I was aiming for unrealistic expectations and doing things that I wasn’t wired to do.
But what are you driven by? It’s an important question to ask yourself. There’s no doubt in saying many people are in the wrong profession. Some of us are living for others, living to fulfil a role they didn’t even audition for. Well, it’s time to get back in the director’s seat.

Of course it would be ideal to do what we love and are good at doing. Why do so many people want to escape the 9-5? Don’t get me wrong travelling is always a good idea; I say it’s a form of education. However, you must make sure it’s not a form of escapism but merely a break to gain new experiences and perspectives.

But we are all made uniquely which is why comparing will get you nowhere. So stop comparing yourself to others. If you just follow the crowd, you’ll go nowhere but get lost.
The reason why we aren’t all doing what we’re gifted to do is because of conformity and comparison. Not to mention security and other financial factors. I’m not saying to do a complete 360 and quit your jobs but we need to start living our lives for ourselves. I’m not just talking about careers and what you do to make a living but what you were made on this earth to do.

How many of you just go to work during the week, waiting and living for the weekend? For those of you that have a hobby (or two) well done! But for those who don’t it’s time to get one. Good at drawing? Join a sketching class. Good at basketball? Join a team!
So however small the next step is, figure out what it is that excites you and start spending more time doing this.

Inspired by the book Purpose-driven Life, Rick Warren

Standing Strong Solo

May 6th, 2016

Standing strong solo…

“I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful”, Frederick E. Perl

In this generation people are too fixated on looks and the superficial surface of things, what he/she is wearing, how tall they are, what hairstyle they have. When you give people the chance to be honest and feel comfortable, to open up and blossom you can reach depths within them that others don’t see.

Looks and sex are so temporary, but the vibe you radiate and the way you can make someone feel is unforgettable…

You shouldn’t want to settle. You want mind-fucking love. You want to spend all night thinking about kissing them, and when you finally get the guts to, you want to go deaf to everything but that moment.

You should be attracted to someone who is excited about you. You should want to be shown love consistently, to be shown off, celebrated and reminded of your beauty. Your presence should be craved any time you go missing. Your spirit is full in return of giving everything. The way you love should be nothing but ordinary.

You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. You could be with anyone in the world, so why be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

There are couples out there who are together because they are too scared to be alone or don’t even know how to be alone anymore. Don’t be one of those, you deserve to be the best that you can be and you owe that to your damn self.

You should take care of yourself. Don’t spend all your time putting energy out and not saving any for yourself. In this world, it is you above anything.

K xo

Best Friends

 May 8th, 2016

That’s My Bestie…

If you and your Best Friend aren’t occasionally mistaken for lesbian lovers, then you aren’t really best friends!

This post is dedicated to Yasmin; the Ying to my Yang, the black to my white, the Bill to my Ben. Six years of friendship and I can’t imagine life without you. But it’s never really been about how long we’ve known each other for. From day one we just clicked and there are some people in life that you’ll meet, and you will just vibe off each other.

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It’s funny because I can probably count the number of times I see this girl a year, but true friendship is not measured by how often you see someone. Distance is not a barrier; it’s a way to make us even closer than before.

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She’s such a beautiful soul, inside and out and through the hard and the good times we’ve been there for each other and that’s what’s important.

Loyalty is so hard to find these days and relationships with friends need to be valued more because they are so sacred. They can make the positive differences in your life, to bring out the best in you.

So shout out to all the besties out there…

Happy Birthday Yasmin!

K xo

 

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What is Integrity?

“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his Integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively”, Bob Marley.

Integrity is one of life’s most surprising values. But what exactly does Integrity mean? It’s a word people often confuse with honesty but the truth is that they are two separate entities. We hear it a lot in business culture but not enough in our own lives.

Integrity is telling yourself the truth, whereas honesty is telling the truth to other people.

A person with Integrity is always going to have bitter enemies, circling around like predators seeking their prey. These enemies are a representation of disloyalty, corruption and dishonesty. All of which come under the word, ‘Ambiguity’.

Mr Ambiguous is a master of the ‘maybe’, ‘if’ and ‘but’. He never gives a clear ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Look around you; you can always spot a Mr Ambiguous in your everyday life… they are the ones sucking up to everyone, wanting everyone to like him. He changes how he speaks to fit the circumstance and his nickname is ‘two-face‘. He talks in shades of grey, neither completely black nor white. He can’t take a clear position on issues – because he’s always sitting on the fence. He makes sure he can spin things to his advantage and he’s careful not to say anything that might compromise his way of escape.

Whatever it may cost, he always needs to have an alternate route. To be in a position that doesn’t edge him into a corner!

His posture says it all…He never stands up straight, never holds his head high, but mostly looks downwards or sideways, looking to plan his next subterfuge.

Whatever the situation he’s in, he’s an expert in the art of ‘lip service’, keeping one foot in and one foot out, never taking sides, never being decisive, never simple or clear, but being consistently vague in whatever he says and duplicitous in everything they does.

Hypocrisy is their best friend…they have fun together everywhere…they always make a good first impression – it’s their speciality. Unfortunately, that’s all there is! Mr Ambiguous doesn’t mean what he says and doesn’t say what he means.

His values are: duplicity, evasion and vanity, and that’s’ the sum of his daily plan. Of course, he can’t stand Authenticity and Consistency. He always feels uneasy with them because every time he meets them they challenge him to reveal who he really is, to do what he says – but if he did that, he’d embarrass himself in front of everyone. That must never be allowed to happen because, for Mr Ambiguous, wearing the best mask at the ball is the ‘be all and end all’ of his life!

The writer Nigel Hawthorne springs to mind when he wrote;

“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

So back to the topic of Integrity. Integrity, like love, is an ‘umbrella’ of value under which other values receive hospitality. Choosing to live a life of Integrity – a principled life – inevitably means adopting other values that are closely related.

A person with Integrity is like a tree with deep roots. Their actions are rooted in their values. Their actions are inspired by the principles they hold. When the storm comes their roots will keep them stable. Their principles will keep them balanced and strong in the turbulent wind and rains of life. In their race they stay in their own lane, they don’t look at their opponent’s position; they simply fix their gaze straight ahead.

On the other hand, living an (un)principled life leads us to experience negative emotions that are out of harmony with our being. It’s a very common form of self-destructive behaviour and has its roots in conflicting actions like, “I believe something and I say it, but I don’t do it”, all of which weaken us emotionally and mentally and as a consequence, physically as well.

Choosing the values we want to live by is to define our identity and our destiny. However, truly living those values is to have Integrity.

The strength of a nation derives from the Integrity of the home and this is what our world needs more of!

K xo

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